Bad to Better

Yesterday didnt turn out at all like I had planned, but by the time I went to bed, things were ok. The husband was supposed to be home from work between 5-6. I started dinner at 5 since I knew it would take about an hour. At 6:30 I finally put the baby in his high chair with some toys and sat down to eat by myself. A lil after 7 my husband finally came home, apologizing before he even walked through the door since he knew he was gonna be in trouble. Lately work has comsumed his life. In his line of work, his salary is based on a 50 hour work week, which to me is a lot of time to be away from your family every day. Not only that, but he is trying out some new type of "open management" policy and every single one of his employees has his personal number. Now, if you had your bosses number, would you really call him at home? I think not! But his employees dont hesitate to burn up that cell for even the smallest stupid thing like someone got to take their break before the other one. Or at 6am when they cant remember the alarm code for the store, or an employee had a bad day and just wants to vent about it. SERIOUSLY are you fucking kidding me!!?? I am getting so sick of it, but he says its his job and there is nothing he can do unless I want him to quit......what-ev. So he was in grovel mode all night while I gave the baby his bath, bottle and put him to bed. My husband tried talking and joking and being nice....I ignored all attempts. Instead I watched thurs. episode of Greys Anatomy that I had missed by being at work. It was good as always. We had a HUGE "budget" discussion last night. I finally let out all my feelings about our financial situations and not ever being included in anything. I told him how I really resent him for thinking I'm too "stupid" to understand money matters. So hes going to sit down with me and together we are going to write out a budget so we both know were all our money is at all times and I dont have to call and get permission to go to the grocery store. At the end of the convo I attempted the school disscussion one more time. Still NOTHING!! We had been talking like adults (sometimes not common in our house) for a good hour or so and the second I brought up school he never said another word. Maybe hes intimidated by me wanting to better myself....dunno? While we layed in bed last night watching TV I decided to tell him how I've been feeling lately and why I treat him the way I do. I was honest to the point of no return in telling him everything that bothers me. To sum it up, basically I feel as if I never have time for myself. Someone or something is always demanding my attention. First thing in the moring its the baby and the cat both wanting to be fed. Once I get them settled its the house needing to be cleaned, or friends and fam calling to talk, then in the evening my hubby gets home and wants to be in my face....I dont ever have 2 seconds alone. Most days I truely dont mind it....its just what I do, but lately I've felt like I really need a break. It was almost like I could feel a weight lifting off of me as I told him all these things that have been bothering me for a while. And surprisingly he took it well. He offered solutions rather than just getting upset or telling me there is nothing he can do like he normally does. He suggested I go to my parents house for a weekend or get a hotel here just to get away, but for me thats not getting away. I would still be too close to relax and staying with my parents isnt relaxing either with all my brothers still at home. So after the holiday fiasco is over, I'm taking a vaca. Destination unknown at this point, but I'm going for a weekend if not longer....alone! I dont even want my friends with me, I just want to be able to do whatever I feel like doing on my own schedule, even if it means sitting in a hotel ordering room service....I'd be happy!! We'll see if he lives up to his promise, but I'm really looking forward to it.
Dyed my hair today, I like it. Its dark, but its as close to my natural color as I've been in years. In fact, I had to look at middle school pics to even remember what my natural color was!!!!! Now I need to cut it, but that will be a different day.
On of my best friends called and said she left her husband today. She has a baby 4 mo. younger than Cannon. She asked if I wanted to pack up and move up north with her....we could take turns watching the kids while the other one went out and our boys would have playmates. Its tempting, but I dont know if I've tried hard enough to save my marriage. I feel like I need to put a lil more effort in before I just give up.
My mom is coming next week to babysit because its my weekend to work. I like when she comes because her and I are really close. But she has to bring my brother and my I guess you would call him foster brother too since my dad will be outta town. Should be interesting, but both the boys love their nephew and the baby always enjoys playmates so it will be a good time!
Kitty is on the run. The baby is crawling like lightening now and I cant take my eyes off of him for a minute....aparently neither can the cat. He was sleeping in his usual spot infront of the french doors today when the baby crawled over and was on top of him pulling out fur and trying to lick him before I could even blink!!! It was quite funny, however, kitty did not find much humor in the situation. Hes a good kitty though and too lazy to fight back so I have no worries about the baby getting hurt.
My hubby has left for work for the night so its just the baby and I. I plan on putting him to bed early and enjoying some peace and quiet....we'll see what actually happens!