Life matters

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Someone Else's Life

I often find myself wanting things that other people have. I'm sure everyone does it, but for me its become a continous bad habit, and one that is driving my husband crazy. My husband is a very loving man. He is the kind of person that always wants to make sure I'm happy, and he truely loves to see me smile no matter what it takes (including acting like a monkey in his underwear just to make me laugh). He gets up every morning and goes to work for 10-12 hours then comes home and helps with the baby or dishes or whatever needs to be done (at least recently anyway). Some times I accuse him of being controling or over protective, but really hes not, hes just the kind of guy that always wants to make sure I'm happy and taken care of. He would buy me the world if he could, and there lies the problem. I guess I dont really realize I do it, but I find myself constantly saying "I want" or " I wish we could have...". He recently brought it to my attention that I aparently do this often and I guess it hurts his feelings. He tries so hard to give me everything he possibly can and all I want is more.....a house, a car, a vaca, new clothes, new shoes...whatever I'm desiring at the moment. Some days I actually wish I had a different life, that I could live in someone elses shoes and have what they have. But I guess I never really looked around at what I DO have because I'm always too worried about the things I dont have. I was talking to my sister recently. Shes only 17 mo. younger than me so we have always been pretty close. She has been with her current boyfriend for about 5 years. To me, she seems to have the perfect life. She graduated college, got a real job, has a bf with TONS of money, has amazing brand new house, a boat, shes getting a new car. But she actually said to me the other day that she is jealous of MY life. HAHAHA! Are you kidding me, she has a picture perfect life, what could she possibly want of my life!? But heres the deal.
She graduated with a photography degree, but she has a job keeping books for the police department, and she hates it. Her boyfriend does have tons of money, but its family money. He works for his dads developing company, therefore his parents control all his finances. He did buy her a townhouse and a boat, but nothing is actually in her name. And the one thing she wants more than anything in life is to be married and have a family....and after almost 5 years, he still says its not time yet. So I spend all this time being jealous of what she has, when in reality, she actually wants what I have.
I have a husband who would give me the world if I asked for it, and a baby who IS my world. We dont have an amazing house, but we have a pretty nice apt., and the house will come soon. Neither of us have a regular 8-5 job, but we have jobs that allow us to make our own schedules so we get to see eachother and never have to leave our baby with strangers. We dont have the luxury of doing whatever we want and coming and going as we please, but we do get to experience watching the life we created learn about the world around him.
I guess its just human nature to always want what you cant or dont have, maybe I should learn to appreciate what I do have!